Overcoming sexual urges. Would there be a time I could talk to you in private about it? When you feel the need to masturbate, the best solution to calm down is to wash the sexual organ with cold water. I am constantly battling to shut out sexual urges. If you have a spiritual practice, you could also try prayer to help you focus your mind and get spiritual support. You need to learn how to relate to women from scratch - consider seeking the help of a counsellor to do this. However, there is equally nothing wrong with simply having sex with yourself. Topics Life and style Private lives. Perhaps you need to start thinking about the impact your behaviour has had on the women you have exploited. Best thing you would've done this year. A way, which is also the main purpose of this desire; marriage. Be honest with yourself and each other about if this can be managed or if this is a deal-breaker for the relationship.